Hi
Would love some advice. I'm torn between I am worried about nothing and this is tip of iceberg stuff
DS5 is a wonderful kid, pretty well behaved, and mostly into his own stuff and doing his own thing. To the point where other kids have actually said something to me about him being weird - some of it we have worked on - he tends to stick himself in people's faces to get their attention -and mentions his pretending appropo of nothing - so some kids clearly just don't get him and find his approach off putting. A few kids in his class like him and his stories but most of the time he has to adapt to play with them. Or he chooses to read by himself.
However, I'm starting to worry a bit how he is choosing to handle not fitting in. In some cases I suspect he goes out of his way to be odd to sort of drive them off. But in my observation he is not usually intentionally mean first - and the teachers don't report that he is. But how he reacts when the kids are mean to him makes me a bit concerned. I've now seen him twice when kids haven't been nice to him strike back - its not physical ever - but almost insidiously cruel - quite cutting in a remark to another child. If he were an adult it would have been like, whohoo, nice shot. But he's 5! On both occasions the comment itself was factual but had the desired effect and popped the other kid like a balloon.
He told an older boy over the holidays who had been taunting him all day about not being good at stuff physically - "yes I can read - and with my mouth closed too." I was stunned by how effective it was. The kid, who didn't read anywhere near as well as DS, and often by reading out loud, just slunk away.
Is it good to be able to handle things this way - is it a problem only if he is mean first to other kids. I'm not sure what bothers me - I am sure he knew the effect it would have - and I could tell he was pleased by the effect. Is it wrong to successfully "fight" back like that? Its almost a weird use of EQ.And it feels to me rather like revenge - plotted and planned for.
Maybe its just the using of the big brain for evil??
DeHe
