That's exactly what we've had to do-- the "least-worst" options and
lots of decision-making grids.
And earplugs. LOL. Most parents of bright and MG children are going to think that options that we
must consider are "extreme" to the point that we maybe, uh...
shouldn't be considering them. If you know what I mean.
For us, brick-and-mortar school just hasn't been on the table, so to speak-- but that isn't entirely because of giftedness alone. There are too many barriers to overcome, and too little benefit in (what would be) an unsuitable academic placement.
Homeschool or virtual school was about the only way to come
close to a "least worst" solution.
My DD is eleven and is acing HS geometry this year... and
could probably be quite happy with Algebra II or higher, but we've chosen NOT to do that as a compromise with the school. We'll keep her (sort of) in sync with a regular sequence, and they'll allow her to be accelerated four grades if we do... on the other hand, I was none too thrilled to learn that one classmate <GULP> 'has a baby.'
There
are some real down-sides to having a preteen in classes with older teenagers. It's a sort of Faustian bargain, really, but all of the alternatives are worse by far, either in the here and now or in the long term.
This solution has her taking "time out" her sophomore year to take AP Statistics, which should be really enjoyable for her.... and it is a way of enriching the curriculum without pushing her further into the standard sequence. Schools have a tough time doing that with mathematics up until high school, (at least in my experience they do).
While I like the idea of keeping DD with some chronological peers, there's not real 'authenticity'
there, either. There just aren't a whole lot of students like her, so we can't really expect that she will be placed with "true peers" academically. We don't live in a large enough metropolitan area for that. So keeping her with same AGE peers won't work academically. (We tried that with some homeschooling activities, and it was a complete waste of time. DD hated it and resentfully tuned everything out; therefore it was pointless to try.) Academic peers, on the other hand, are 3-5 years older, even among MG students... and the courses still don't move at quite the clip that DD would like...
Not perfect, but not as bad as with same-age peers, however. We know others in our home school district that have had children transported to the High School for math (or another subject) as middle schoolers, and still others that have done EPGY as an in-class pullout.
(You did ask what other parents do with these situations.)
As Saint Pauli Girl notes, in these situations, there often
isn't a "good" answer. Only answers that are clearly
worse than others.
I have heard that getting some sound advice from the DYS can really help iron things out with a school district that can't see what is appropriate, or doesn't know how to do it. HTH!
