He has stated several times that academically the school can not meet her needs and that I will have to continue to provide that need at home, and what we need to work on with the school district is getting her social needs met.
I'm sure you haven't heard him correctly - and if you have, I recommend you act like you are sure you haven't heard him correctly.
I'm sure he meant that the school couldn't meet her needs with it's normal way of doing things. That is good that he could recognize this. It's very different from saying that you are responsible for meeting her academic needs at home.
I don't know, I could just be jaded, but I had the GT coordinator for our local district tell me exactly that and mean it when dd12 was 7. She told me that they were "philosophically opposed" to meeting dd's academic needs and that she wasn't "going to last long in the public school system" and then inquired as to whether I had considered homeschooling her. Of course, she was on her way out (retiring) and maybe burned out with seeing things not get done. We have, none the less, managed to get her needs semi-reasonably met in public schools. It did take a few years before we got to that spot, but it is okay now.
So, what exactly are they proposing doing for your dd -- placing her in school for a part day with older kids to develop social skills and then have you do the academics at home? If so, I'd send her for "specials" only not the academic parts of the day. We did that with dd12 for a while when she was in 1st grade. She went for PE, computer lab, recess, art, etc. and we did the academics at home. Actually, we just kind of unschooled and let her decompress for our home part of the deal. We just read a lot.
