I have done the battles with oldest and am still in the battles with youngest. What I have learned is that some of the fight is related to maturity and some to drive.
My son did well but was too immature at the beginning and lacked drive. Now he is older (12yr/6th grade) and in middle school. The drive to compete with classmates in band and orchestra has started. He wants to do well and now there are no fights to make him practice and do his best. He plays violin (first chair), trumpet, and recently started the electric guitar.
My daughter, 9yr/4th grade, plays piano, violin, and flute. She has not hit the competition phase yet at school, however, she is more mature in some ways then he was at her age and a perfectionist. While she fights me to begin practice each night, once she starts what drives her is her own need play perfectly.
Just in case you are wondering...our school district provides weekly group lessons in a string and/or wind instrument. We pay privately for our children to take private lessons in 1 instrument of their choice. My son took private violin lessons for 3 yrs and has chosen to switch to electric guitar recently. My daughter started private piano lessons 2.5 yrs ago.
