Thanks vicam for the ideas. I especially like the talking to DH while puttering idea -- DH is much less emotional than me (DS is right that I sometimes "react too much"), and I'm sure DS would have an easier time talking to him about what's bothering him at school (which I have now gleaned is something social not academic). Its just making sure that DH (more of the strong, silent type) finds the "right moment" sometime before next year. wink