Hi Grinity and Dottie,
Thanks for the replies - it's reassuring to hear from others who have been there. The psych was a specialist G&T psych, but she inferred that she very rarely comes across scores like Emmie's. No extension testing was offered and I guess I was hoping for more information than simply a referral to an OT, and feel like we are being shoved from pillar to post. I got the feeling that the psych is used to testing kids with straightforward IQ's of kids from middle class families who have money and simply wish to push their kids academically as much as is possible (please note I'm not decrying this), rather than gifted kids with 'issues'. She immediately assumed that we would be trying to get Emmie into the most elite private schools in the area rather than simply trying to make our daughter 'happy'.
Em is unhappy nearly all day every day, with the exception of when I work with her to teach her things, we are currently learning all about the human body for example and she is in her element when we are doing this. Basically, if she's learning she is happy. Her teacher is fabulous, extremely intelligent (has a doctorate in marine biology and is G&T herself at a guess), adores Em and actually recommended that she should be tested, but I feel that as she has a class of mixed age (two year groups in one class, and unfortunately this year Em will be the oldest in the class) as well as mixed ability kids in a state school that does not agree with ability grouping or streaming that she simply does not have the time to give Em what she needs, although she does have an IEP.
As for friends, kids do like her and she has friends but there are no children that she enjoys socialising with as their interests just aren't the same. Interaction, without fail, leads to tears and frustration and kids are bemused by her emotional outbursts. Thankfully they are 'good kids' who don't bully her but the differences are becoming more apparent with age (she's eight). In essence she relies on me for all of her intellectual stimulation which obviously is neither ideal, healthy or even possible when I have another child. Her demands to learn are constant. I would love for her to have a friend that she could share ideas with but simply can't find one! Art and craft groups provide an outlet but can only do so much. So, yes, Grinity, your comments do sound pretty much spot on. Em says she enjoys school but 'daydreams' and 'hums' a lot, doesn't really need to listen when things are being explained and even with the extension work she says on an effort scale of 1 - 10 her work is a two. The school tested her spelling age when she was seven, which was approximately fourteen, and she reads like an adult and has done since she was six.
We just want a happy daughter. She says that she feels anxious a lot, that her 'heart hurts inside' but she doesn't know why, and about twelve months ago she tried (unsuccessfully, thank goodness)to stab herself in the heart, with a wire coathanger that she purposely untangled, as it hurt so much that she wanted to die. She then panicked about what she had done and came to me in hysterics. This prompted a visit to the GP and twelve months with a psych, which realistically got us nowhere (except for ruling out aspergers, adhd etc.) as Emily wouldn't talk to her. It's been a tough 12 months, well, six years really! She's a beautiful girl, extremely sensitive, highly moral and ethical and concerned with the greater good, but just impossible to live with!
Thank you so much for listening (and for the hugs!)
K x
