We are having a tough year.... I am not pushing towards any goals, I just want him to have a serious extra-curricular. If he quits now, I think it will be all over. Also, if I let him quit his brother will want to quit too. Given that he is 8, gets minimal homwork, and does minimal chores I really can't see myself as "pushing". But my son seems genuinely distressed.
Well...from what you've written, it sounds like you're pushing pretty hard.
I'm not sure why little children need to have a "serious extracurricular" forced on them. They're little children! They have their whole lives to be serious. If your child is completely self-motivated, great. If not, well...not great.
Also, and trying to say this gently, sometimes parents lose sight of the fact that their kids aren't their property. Your kids have a right to mold themselves into their own visions of who they want to be. From what you wrote, it sounds like you're satisfying your own ideas about what you want your son(s) to be.
Extracurriculars are supposed to be fun activities,
of the child's choosing, that foster healthy development and help them learn to make their own decisions.* If you have to bribe or threaten your kid constantly to do them, you've turned what was meant to be something fun into another adult-imposed chore and/or more homework.
Giftedness is about an ability to learn, not about forced achievement at a young age.
Val
* I agree completely with posters who require their kids to stick with something for a certain period of time if the
child's desire to do the activity requires the parental units to invest in expensive equipment.
