She said to me "you must be so proud of him." and it caught me off guard. I paused and said "yes, I am." This may be odd but I have never considered the fact that my son is a PG child something to be proud of. While I am quite amazed and impressed by all the things he does and knows, I wouldn't say that I am proud of him being a PG child. It is not like he really worked to be the way he is, and it's not like I did anything to make him that way, he just is who he is.
Even as a little aside this was so interestingly thought provoking because it oddly seems to highlight all the struggles pg parents go through. I think your reaction makes perfect sense - if she meant you must be so proud your son is trying something that challenges him and is hard and outside the norm - then yes, you are. If she meant, you must be so proud he is smart, that's just weird, yet people say it all the time. Does anyone say you must be so proud he's handsome? No of course not. Do they say you must be so proud he's nice. No of course not. (although they should because parents have such an influence on nice behavior rather than innate niceness). And it also seems to suggest if you really read into it that you think kids at their regular level are not worth being proud of. But perhaps its the word that is wrong - sort of like the difference between jealousy and envy - they are not exactly the same and there is a covetousness with envy which seemingly makes it a more pernicious emotion - yet both are about wanting what someone else has. Perhaps it is the suspicion that the asserter of you must be proud has some other thought in mind. Prior to getting on the testing for gifted school torture rack, we had DS tested and I remember wondering if this was about me based on all the stuff thrown at parents about giftedness - a need for a label - a need to say my kid is gifted, no not like you think your kid is gifted, better gifted?! Or at its worst that mom, was it in CO where the kid was PG but isn't now, where supporting a gifted kid comes off as some crazy M�nchhausen behavior.
Or, alternatively we could just stand up and say, yup, I made that!!!
I think I went way off the tangent!
DeHe
