Hi TwinkleToes,
My dd (nearly 5) really struggled in a preschool that had an academic focus (not with the academic tasks themselves, just the fact that she was so far beyond them). She was a perfect angel at preschool, doing no more or less than she had to. However she was terrible at home (and of course the preschool didn't see it, so refused to give her more appropriate work). In the end we pulled her out and put her in a completely play based program. While it isn't perfect, it has been such a big improvement in behaviour. She is skipping kindergarten next year and starting school in first grade, so I have some concerns about a transition from total play to the more structured (and still below competency level) first grade, but I figure I can only manage the here and now in the current circumstances!
Re testing, we had dd tested at 4ys 3 months. She did suffer from test fatigue and refused to continue with a couple of subtests. For the portions of the test dd did complete I would say that based on what she is doing at home, it is a pretty accurate reflection. We had her tested because we wanted something to take to schools when we were looking around for one for her. In hindsight I would have waited as long as I could (prior to her starting school) as I suspect she would have been much more responsive to testing and more cooperative if we did the testing now for example (though in the end what we have is more than enough as she still has scores that would be comfortably DYS qualifying - if we were in the States - despite her lack of cooperation, and a report from the psych stating her results are an underestimate.) This, combined with a sample of her work, was enough for the school we chose to commit (at this stage) to doing their best to accommodate her. However this school was the 4th or 5th we approached - numerous other schools completely avoided us as soon as we raised her 'advanced' abilities (lol, the nuanced language we have to develop!) What I am trying to say in a very round about way is that having a test behind you won't necessarily help if someone already has an unhelpful approach to dealing with gifted kids.
Good luck
