Thanks Austin for those questions!!!
We actually called a Montessori school today and both of us feel like it would be an amazing fit. The director spoke to DH a long time on the phone today explaining everything in detail (she also discussed the methodology quite a bit with him since he's not as familiar with it). We asked a lot of Austin's questions and were quite please with the responses.
Basically, they said that the first month they would evaluate here and if the 0-3 group was not a good fit they'd be happy to move her up (he got the impression that that wasn't too uncommon). If at any time she outgrew the group they'd also be willing to move her up later on too. Also they are flexible about providing more advanced activities in subject areas (like math, for instance). The director put a lot of emphasis on trying to go at the child's own pace.
Another selling point for us is that they are much more flexible with starting dates (you just have to make a deposit and can start whenever you want without paying ahead) and you can pay monthly so if it doesn't work out it's not like we're stuck there the whole year. The biggest problem is that it's really far from our work and is more expensive (although the hours are better) so it's something we have to think about still.
Looking ahead long term it seems that there are some private gifted schools that DH wants to check out (basically you need to get 95%+ on an IQ test, not sure what one..) and they would be closer to home but don't start until elementary school. The Montessori also has an elementary school so if we liked it she could continue there too.
