Thanks for replying OTGM,
If my DD was any more in charge of her learning we would be unschooling, which I've tried, but she really does need some structure (and so do I). She chooses all of her activities, all of her reading material, etc. I generally insist upon 2 subjects (math, language arts daily). The other subjects, the order and time of day to do her work is entirely her choice. The minimum amount of time per subject is my choice. Right now I'm only aiming for 2 hours a day + independent reading. Based on the some of the comments I thought that I would try to 'cut back' on the time for schooly things and, it is worse, not better. Today she finished at 9 pm.
She outright refuses to do a daily journal. The only type of writing she will do is creative writing, and so that is what she does. As for math, she has tons to choose from, from a complete set of Montessori math materials, workbooks and various other concrete materials. She doesn't really seem to like computer math games, although that is always an option for her. She truly hates math, despite the fact that she does have strong math skills. I'm not sure how to make math any more enticing, TBH. She also hates cooking, so that rules out sneaking anything in the backdoor. She's even had lengthy 'math breaks', but that hasn't changed anything.
At the same time I can't add more structure because that would only end in meltdowns. As ridiculous as our school day is, she is much happier this way. Last year I did attempt doing school work in a much more normal 'daylight' kind of way and she was constantly upset, dishing out 2 or more tantrums per day. So, our current set up is technically better. I think that it is a maturity level in part, maybe she's just not ready, despite her ability? She also is intensely controlling, so that is a factor too. I often look in the ROOM that houses all of our educational stuff and think, I wish I had this when I was a kid.
Sorry that this post turned into a ramble/vent, but I think that this as coherent as I can be right now
