She flat out refused to believe it. She started sobbing and saying that she is the worst writer in the world because she can't spell.
It's hard to grow up a girl with messy handwriting and 'unique' spelling. I know - because that was my bottleneck. I was able to fool myself into thinking I 'wasn't that smart' because of those weaknesses for many, many years.
I don't know if there is something about the way the topics are presented in elementary school that leads a child to confuse the mechanics of writing with the ability to take thoughts and turn them into communication - but I wouldn't be surprised. I still remember looking longingly at the 'cute' handwriting of the other girls in the first grade classroom, so pretty with the little circle-dots for the 'i's and smiley faces inside the 'o's.
I think the fact that she can vent her feelings to you is a wonderful sign. I didn't dare complain because I mom already let me know that if only I worked a little harder my handwriting and spelling would be 'just fine.'
I would suggest that you buy the book 6 + 1 Traits of Writing: The Complete Guide (Grades 3 and Up) Ruth Culham and read it. I would suggest that you leave it around somewhere where you daughter can read it 'behind your back.' It actually teaches teachers how to teach writing to children beyond editing. They you can talk to your daughter about her excellent word choice, strong voice and comand of organization in her writing or the writing in TV shows, books and movies that you read together. Then you won't be in a 'he said, she said' argument about if your DD's writing is strong. You will be able to use 'teacher approved words' to say: your voice is strong, your spelling is weak, your organization is strong in this piece, but only moderate in that one. There are even 'levels' of each strength so you compare her writing to the rubric and prove why you think what you think.
Howard Glasser goes on and on about how we have to be really concrete in our compliments to our children, especially our children who have a chip on their shoulder in one or more areas.
I remember so clearly when my son was in 1st grade, and I was reading his school newsletter that listed the 'best behaved student of the month' for all the classrooms.
I said: "I wonder if you'll get your name here next month."
DS responded firmly: "Mom, I'm on a behavior plan. I'm never going to get my name on that list."
My point being that - at least for my son - school is all about being ranked in every possible dimension, and it is very public and very detailed and very black and white.
If you think your teacher would be on board, save the postage and get one copy of 6+1 for the teacher at the same time. Then everyone will be on the same page.
Best wishes,
Grinity
