Yesterday his teacher said he cried on
and off all day and today he totally freaked out! He started
screeching when we turned into the parking lot and completely lost it when we entered his room and two other kids were crying. He just can't handle the noise level and chaos.
How awful! That sounds so sad. I feel bad that your hopes were raised and now they are dashed.
The Director offered to move him to the 3yo class. He has advanced
Social skills and plays cooperatively with other kids. [quote]
Did the Director say 'why' she thought a move might work?
Based on what you say about advanced social skills, I think a move might work. When my son was young, I worked, and spent a lot of time picking the 'just right' center. Looking back, it seems like being with agemates instead of kids who were of similar social skill level was hard on him, and I believe I see a connection between that experience and his 'skeptical' current worldview. I think that a multiage group would have been ideal, with a 'gradeskip' to the older room a close second best. We didn't have access to a enter/school for 'advanced' kids.
Our worry is his size, he is still a toddler and he is a skinny little guy. He is taken aback by a 2yo bully in his
class who is his size so I don't know how he would handle
having to stand his ground with 3 year olds.
First of all. I don't think that 3 year olds group together and attack the way older bullys do. I just don't think that they have the capasity - I could be wrong, but try to get the picture of a group of 3 year olds ganging up on you sweetie. There may be one 'hard to handle kid' in the group, but there will also be many potential friends in the group as well. I don't think that they will reject your son because of the age difference.
It's up to the teacher and the school to keep their eyes open and have open communication with you if a particular child is giving your child a hard time. If you can trust them to be open with how things are going, then I believe it is safe. I think that older children are more likely to be safe because they can 'use their words.' My son was bitten by a child in the same-age group (in the 18-24 months group) and I figure if I wanted him to have the benifits of contact with other children, then I had better be willing to take some risks too. It turned out to be a very specific senario that brought on the biting behaior - she bit when it was her turn to go down the slide and some other child got too close as she was climbing the stairs. I talked to DS about it, and the teachers kept close watch.
If the teachers were less open, or less vigalent, then I would have moved him to a different center.
We expected to have to deal with grade skipping later on but not this early. Does any one have experience with a similar situation or an opinion? Any advice would be appreciated!
I think the only choices you have are:
1) Bring him back home and try again when he's older
2) Try a different center, if that doesn't work, then #1
3) Try the older classroom, and if that doesn't work, then #2
I don't see a downside to trying option #3 - right now - before the Director changes her mind! (It's very unusual to find a Preschool Director who is open to placing a kid in an older age group, let alone to suggest it!)
You can always 'decelerate' later if it seems like a good idea.
Best Wishes,
Grinity
