You have completely described my PG DD7 100% as a toddler. In fact, you put everything I felt into words... something I was never able to do. I felt like she sucked the life out of me. It was like being on an out of control ride and just holding on for dear life. Forget about being the one in control! I felt like a failure as a parent and I just couldn't make any one understand how intense she was. We avoided taking her out in public because she never listened and had to do 'her own thing' (which included touching everything and never sitting still).
For what it is worth, DD has also been diagnosed with ADHD and we have found medication to be immensely helpful. So helpful, in fact that I sometimes wonder if I exaggerated how bad her toddler/preschool years were. When I read posts like yours it reinforces to me that it was a really tough time.
We were very consistent with DD and things did start to click eventually. She still struggles to control herself and her body, and she seems to run on an Energizer battery, but these days she is the most amazing and sweet and empathetic little girl I have ever met. I am so proud to be her mom and I often say that I want to be just like her when I grow up. All of the struggles were worth it. She really did turn out great!
Big hugs to you. I wish I had known back then that these were signs of giftedness. I pretty much wrote the poor child off as hyperactive and I think I will feel guilty about that for the rest of my life.
