kcab,
I have am in the process of giving up control. It's not an easy thing to do. In the areas where my DD is above grade level, that's fine, but in areas where she is at or close to grade level, that's the hard part. We've ended school for the year early because I need some major time to regroup, rethink. For the summer my daughter will choose her work without specific direction from me. When left to her own devices she generally chooses great activities for herself. My hope is that we can continue this way indefinitely. I also leave material lying around, another approach that works is if I read the book or work with materials myself without saying anything and without asking her to participate. Academically my DD is all over the map. In certain areas she is very advanced but in others she is at grade level. However, you very well may be right that I am underestimating her abilities. With that said, her perfectionism really gets in the way of her learning. If she makes even a small mistake she will not pick up the work for days or weeks. I have learned that she does eventually come back though. It just requires extreme patience on my part. I know that giving up control is my only option. It is hard to leave educational decisions in the hands of a six year old, but she's a good kid. If I am equally stubborn she will lose all enthusiasm for learning which undoubtedly is a far worse fate. Thanks so much for your post, this is all really helping me to work this through.
Annaliisa
