Hello!
Okay, this is my first post, it may seem more like venting but there are questions at the end, I promise:). In a nutshell, I�m an exhausted homeschooling mother of 2, DD6, DS2. After years of researching various childhood behavioural/developmental disorders I came upon an article that discussed the misdiagnoses of ADD and ODD in gifted children. After reading this, I started reading more and more about giftedness in general and for the first time I started to see that this is where my daughter fits in. She was my first child and I just didn�t see the signs. For some reason it didn�t seem odd that she wanted to me to read adult encyclopedias for hours when she was 2. I thought she just liked the pictures! Family, friends, teachers, etc. have always said that she�s very advanced (academically), but I sincerely thought that they were overreacting. Looking back (esp. because I now have a second child that is �developing as expected�) I can see that her development is not typical in many areas.
We decided to homeschool our kids because we live in a very small town and we were not comfortable with the atmosphere of local school. When my daughter was young, before preschool and kindergarten, she was enthusiastic about learning virtually anything. Now, we are on the edge of grade 1 and it�s a whole new ball game. She has evolved into a perfectionist. She also refuses anything that resembles or requires instruction, which is problematic when you are six. As a result we�ve been attempting to follow/understand/embrace the Montessori approach (which is easier said than done btw). Her refusal to receive instruction combined with her perfectionistic tendencies is significantly affecting her emotional well being and academic development. I�m also not sure how much of this can be attributed to homeschool control issues, because I also know that if a �teacher� assigned something, she would follow instruction, no matter how inane.
I should also mention that I am in contact (by phone) with a child therapist that has worked quite a bit with gifted children. I�ve only had one session but she seems very well informed and she said that it sounds like most of our challenges are stemming from my daughters perfectionism. We would have travel quite far to see her in person, and so phone appointments will have to due for now.
For the summer I�ve decided to try full out Montessori, allowing her to choose her own work entirely. This means that if she decides not to do math for a month, I�m just going to take a deep breath and remember that Maria was a brilliant woman.
My first question is how do you tackle perfectionism? Secondly, how common is it for gifted children to refuse instruction? If you�ve had similar experiences (in homeschool or within a traditional school setting) how have you overcome these challenges?
Thanks so much for reading my very long post. I will appreciate any and all advice!
Annaliisa
