I've mentioned on other posts of my own giftedness in music and athletics. I was also described as overly sensitive. A wrong note on an instrument was actually (and still is) painful to my ears. My DD has a computer she plays w/and certain notes just grate on my ears like nails on a chalkboard. I was dramatic and sensitive to other people's emotions so much so that it would overwhelm me. My DD seems to have similar traits though for her...I guess instead of sensitivity to emotions (not that it isn't there), it seems more sensitive to behavior. Put her with mature children and she really rises to the occasion and is fabulous...however put her with immature children and wow...she unfortunately also rises to the occasion. It's as if she has no internal locust of control. I've seen improvement though in that area, I'm trying to teach her not to follow along w/others who are doing something that gets them and therefor herself into trouble.
I love her gregarious nature; she is so outgoing and personable. She'll hang with the adults and ask to "chat". She holds the door for others and allows them to go first, most of the time she says her please and thank yous. While we were eating outside with a mom's group I belong to she asked another Mom if she could walk across her blanket to get to the playground; so polite!
When she acts out to get attention (my perception of course) such as focusing too much on owies or pretending to fall...I call her out on it. I tell her that pretending to fall or falling purposely and getting hurt will not make people pay more attention to you, they will see that you did it on purpose and people don't like that and neither do I.
Her preschool mentioned that she often acts as if things hurt...and I've seen that at home though that has lessoned because I've called her out on "pretending." I told them that I think she does it for attention, but it also comes from having a lot of exposure to other people who suffer from pain. My husband suffers from migraines and is out for 2 days at a time when it happens...it used to happen every week, it has lessoned thankfully. I was a gymnast for 11 yrs., was in diving, fencing, Kumdo, weight lifting, etc. and have multiple injuries as a result. I had a major car accident which left me with more physical issues. She goes to Dr. appts. w/me, the Chiropractor, etc. so she sees these things and I continually tell her that just because I'm not feeling good at times doesn't mean that she can't feel good. I tell her that it's important to feel good and be happy that you do. I try not to show it but I am tired a lot and don't have the energy I used to.
In my adulthood I have little to no tolerance for drama in myself or others frankly; I find it highly annoying so I don't tell too many people about it simply because I don't want a pity party...I'm not on any meds so I deal. I'm mentioning it here to get other people's opinion on whether they think I'm right about why she might do some of these things or if I'm just way off base. How else can someone who is very sensitive to behavior handle her emotions other than to act like mommy? Though I don't say "ow" all the time but that's probably her way of processing through what she sees and knows. I think sometimes I'm actually too emotionally distant because as a clinical social worker I've worked w/many dysfunctional behaviors. Honestly I think so many social workers, psychologists and psychiatrists are at risk for having dysfunctional children simply because they "know too much" about behavior and analyzing your own children can become a self-fulfilling prophecy...I try not to do that but it's difficult not to.
Both my husband and I were labeled gifted as kids and were pushed to perform in unhealthy ways so we resorted to refusals and an evenutal degredation of performance both academically and otherwise. I see these traits in my daughter so I try not to push too hard but encourage. I tell her that just because something is hard, that doesn't mean she can't do it, it just means practice will make it easier.
Her demands for attention can be exhausting; still very narcissistic but that is also age appropriate...she is just more high maintenance and is bored easily.
As far as playmates...we go out to playdates frequently since I belong to 2 Mom's groups; I'm currently a SAHM. I also go out with the Mom's group at night a couple of times a month. Sometimes I have 1:1 playdates so to speak and sometimes we're in a group. Currently I watch an almost 7 yr. old boy who is very immature and not nearly as intelligent...my DD gets easily frustrated with him and acts out like a 2 yr. old. I won't be sitting for him much longer actually since I don't feel it's working out.
I think she does still enjoy learning but wants to learn things the way she wants to learn them; as my husband and I. Both of us were and still are independent so the apple didn't fall far from the tree, if it fell at all. I try to find "teaching moments" now. She'll refer to "bad behavior" when watching TV and we talk about that it's wrong and how we wouldn't want someone else to treat us this way. When she's eating we'll play math games...when she asks how many more bites, I'll come up with a # and we'll subtract. I've taught her how to count on her fingers (10+5=15). I tell her to start with ten and count up from there on 5 fingers. She got it quickly of course. She was doing math in her head b4 I started any of this...it's why I started doing it. So I find various times throughout the day to attempt to teach her things varying from behavior, socialization to math.
Sorry this is so lengthy...I get very wordy.
Thanks for reading!
