.... It's so hard because so many people don't think they should have to make their children behave because it will hurt their self-esteem. I read a great article that said self-esteem isn't what we need to be so worried about these days, but rather teaching self-control. I really thought that was great!
ooooohhhhhh, now you got me started on a pet-peeve, 'self-esteem'! When I was in my 20's, during the 1970's, I had started to buy into the theory that 'low self-esteem is the reason why criminals commit crimes'. Then we had a guest speaker at church who was a chaplain at a state penitentiary(and still volunteers in his 90's!). He said, "low self-esteem is not the average criminal's problem, it's a false sense of HIGH self-esteem". I came to understand and believe him during the years after that.
Allowing a child to behave badly, speak disrespectfully, etc., reinforces a childs' primal belief that the world revolves around the child. As a helpless, newborn infant, the baby should be the center of his universe; but as the baby grows he should learn the whole universe does not revolve around him and he must respect others. Self-control, respect for others; these character traits help build a healthy self-esteem.
OK, back to the topic...adolescent angst...making that final seperation from being a child and under the parent's authority to becoming an automonous adult has it's perils. Even in very reclusive communities(thinking of Amish), some children stray from the path set before them by the adults. In families where the choices are almost unlimited, it can overwhelm the adolescent starting to make those choices.
I think the human race would have died out centuries ago if children arrived at or just before the adolescent stage, hahaha. By the time those cute, cuddly babies reach adolescence, you get kind of attached to them!
