I certainly have had no experience and could not put myself in your shoes but I just feel for you and your family. I really don't have any advice but just want to offer to be here for you and if you need anything please don't hesitate to PM me.
This might be showing my ignorance but is it possible to be put on a heart transplant list? You are definitely in my prayers and I suspect that your daughter needs her space right now and when she is ready she will come to you. But if you feel she isn't showing signs of readiness and/or is going into any sort of depression, you might want to seek counseling for her.
