As Carol Dweck put it, you want your daughter in an education placement where she's developing her intellect, not merely documenting it.
I hadn't seen that before, but I love it!
Many girls, and some boys, have enough 'emotional intelligence' to be able to be happy wherever they are, up to a point, and then the belly aches or chair throwing begins.
Since one can't rely on girls to look unhappy, or tell us, I use as my personal criteria: Are they willing to risk trying things that they aren't already good at? Do they fall apart at the slighted challenge and stop (falling apart and then coming back to try again is fine, actually)? Is making a mistake a huge deal?
You are totally not to blame for not knowing this...the schools don't know this, the local psychologists usually don't know this, it took all of us telling out stories to see this pattern. And it isn't one bit too late to change direction (although there maybe lots of emotional venting along the way)! Good for you for getting the testing and finding us - Yippee!
Love and More Love,
Grinity
