Sorry, this is long and a bit roughly written...
One of the biggies was long-form versions of standard baby ammusements. Another was showing him how things worked really carefully and looking for signals about what he wanted to see more of or didn't in a different way from what you do with most little ones. I remember him "asking" about colours when he was about 5 mos old, by going to everything he could find that was green, and when I got it that he was doing a colour category, he started checking how far the edges of the categoy went, and then he went on to yellow, and then I think blue or purple. Anyway, it went on for about 3 hrs, and then we had to go, and he stayed on colours for several more hours, though not as intently. Telling him what to be interested in never worked, "fair trade" when he wanted to play with a particular not-toy is/was almost always a failure... you have to explain to him, in a way he can understand (which, thanfully, is starting to be most english), why he shouldn't play with it, and what he _Can_ do to satisfy his curiosity. He also had a period where he would cry if you didn't read any number in his sight to him. Expecting him to choose activities and interests that took a long time to work through, or that were generally waaaaaay out of his "developmental stage," (or at least not expecting him not to) was important for not missing his cues. He had a real interest in live storytelling for about 4 mos that was hard to serve, because babies were generally not allowed in. I think starting to read chapter books (pooh, Freddy, now Thora) at bedtime helped that... originally his father was reading them to me (I was going squirly over the length of time it took to get him to sleep), but he started demanding it when we skipped for a night. He's more into music now, and that one's a little easier to find for him.
I remember that at 3 mos, he started learning to read signs, so telling him in sign language "I'm going to change your diaper" was hugely important to avoiding a crying fit. We had to work at finding ways like that for him to communicate, at least receptively, very early on (he hasn't been fast at speaking etc), because he really responded badly to not being informed of things. We still have some troubles keeping up with him on the future-plans front. Today, he absolutely refused to fall asleep for a nap, I think he probably understood us when we were planning the day and decided that I would not come with them to the science center... and that I would leave after he fell asleep. As it got later, I finally said to his dad, "at this point, you'll only have a few hours before I come and see you," and he perked up, and almost imediatly fell asleep.
Not correcting his use of toys and materials is a big one. If he's sticking the wrong side of the magnet to the board, it's probably because he's working someting out, and showing him the "correct" approach is just getting in his way. But if he's having trouble flipping it over, he wants help. At this point he has a reliable yes/no, so we can just ask "do you want help?"
Letting him choose his own clothing for the day helps a lot, and when he refuses to wear an overshirt, and I've said it's cold out, he almost never objects to a heavy jacket, but he does if I don't let him know it's cold... that kind of thing. Similarly, if food is too hot, he still wants it in front of him, and he really will test before he jams it into his mouth if we warn him, but if we try and put it out of reach, he gets mad.
I have a bit of face-blindness, so he recognises people faster and better than I do, so if he makes for someone at a museum or whatever, it's best to trust him and go, half the time they greet us by name before I clue in to who they are (oops). He sometimes reminds me to take my keys when we leave the house now... and is livid if we have to go back for them when he pointed them out. But isn't if he didn't try to point it out, etc. (he's also starting to accept an appology, ocaisionally)
Basically, he knows a lot about what's going on around him, and he knows he knows, and he wants to be taken seriously.
It's surprisingly like when I used to work with stroke survivors who had lost much of their language ability and usually had physical disabilities, but their minds were fine. They spent a lot of time dealing with caregivers who didn't regognise that they were still adults inside, and who didn't honour their wishes and intellegence. The environment we provided for them was specifically intended to recognise their competence despite the disability, and it made them enough happier that as a group they documentably lived longer if they spent some time with us regularly
DS just cries a lot less if we honour the competence that doesn't show very clearly when he's having a hard time not falling over, or getting the word "want" out clearly enough to be understood!
Oh, and stuff like shaking a rattle never floated his boat. Stuff like that he "gets" really quickly, and he wants something more complex... like for you to shake the rattle, using interesting rythms, since his co-ordination isn't up to complex rhythm yet, and he started wanting the cool rythms 10 months ago! (Which is a lot of time to be frustrated while waiting for your body to catch up, right?)
And, yeah, this might none of it be about intellegence, it might be purely emotional, or just a question of quality parenting. Hard to say, and, as someone mentioned, if DS shows up as clearly PGGGGGGGGGG+++++++++ and graduates university at 12 with a triple major, two minors and not a mark below 95, that _still_ won't really mean anything about this early stuff... (and knowing his dad, I kinda hope DS goes the MG route. I think being PG really is too much of a good thing, for the most part. But I do kinda hope he's smart enough that I can have a great conversation with him. And that he likes me enough after being stuck with me for a mom all his life).
Uh... yeah. So that's what I mean. That I treat him a bit like a slightly older kid with physical and communicative disabilities, and it works better than treating him like I would treat another kid his age.
