However, she admits that she is nervous thinking of the harder work in 3rd. She says she gets "everything wrong in school right now...." (that's not true but she doesn't do as well as probably 95% of her class.
I think I was one of those who sees the upside to keeping the skip...and yet we have had extensive experience with the question of reversing a skip.
experience #1: DS was given a skip midyear 5th grade, and a subject acceleration at the same time in Math, at the school's suggestion. He had to miss huge amounts of History, which was heavy in writing research papers. He did poorly in Math, so after 3 months, we reversed the subject acceleration in Math. He was nervous about 'what the kids would say' but it worked out really well.
experience #2: It took all year (6th) for the skip to not feel like a terrible shock to his system (a needed shock, but still no 'duck to water' in our home.') 7th was a good challenge but the subject matter was lighter on abstract thinking and heavier on organizational skills, so while the work was a good challenge, there was lots of memorization, and not much new to think about - just a quirk of that particular school, I think. At the end of that year DS asked if he could switch from private school to public school, and we were ok with that. DS also asked if he could reverse the skip, as all the memorization and output requirments were wearing him out. I decided not to reverse the skip, and was really nervous. About 2 weeks later, all 105 pojects were back in his hands, with low A grades, and DS was feeling really proud of himself, and was able to admit that he wanted to reverse the skip because he just wasn't sure he could do it, and that now he was happy to be going into 8th grade next year.
example #3 8th grade at the public school was a great fit socially and academically. The public school had much lower expectations for organizational skills AND written output, but the material was still new and interesting. He worked pretty hard and got As. Nice, huh? As things unfolded, he started noticing that his attention was wandering even though the material was interesting and he was trying hard, and I finally was able to persue, and accept a diagnosis of ADHD, and allow him to start medication, which, once the dose got figured out, he is really feeling good about. So last September he started 9th grade at the public school, and is taking all honors classes. Things are finally challenging enough for him that I can see that even though he is working hard, and his organizational skills are so much better than they were in 4th grade, he is still very slow, and sort of missing the finer points of perspective taking from the teachers. I think the ADHD side of things making things difficult enough for him that I think next year is time for a deceleration. In a way, it's about the grades - now they really affect his college chances. In a way, it's about him being mature enough to handle a bit of bordom that was poison in 2nd grade. In a way, it's about him being very interested in the social side of life, and a chance to buy him more time to do the things he wants to do. I'm hoping he will have a chance to do a better job in school, with less effort, and have more energy left over for extracurriculars.
So, yes, I do think deceleration is a normal part of the odd path that our kids are on. I plan to use it with DS13. I still think that in your particular situation, the risks of deceleration now outweigh the benifits.
Has the teacher confirmed that in fact 95% of the class is ahead of your DD? I think that this is a question worth asking. I would also ask, "What is it that you are seeing in DD that makes you think she would develop best in 3rd grade next year?"
If you haven't had a 'Psychoeducational Evaluation' for DD recently, that might be a way to go, particularly if you are nearby some of the tester that really get the more unusual types of giftedness.
Whatever you decide I will back you all the way - there are no right answers here!
Love and More Love,
Grinity
