Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Straight from the teacher's mouth!!

Ouch.
Looking at a bell curve, it gives the impression that very few people sit at either tail, and it�s easy to think, therefore the entire tail must be made up completely of the most extraordinary examples that come to mind. However, I would submit that those who are profoundly gifted are really the �tail of the tail� (so to speak). The rest of the tail is still a tail though. It is out of synch with what is considered typical or normal, just as it is out of synch with the extreme end of the tail. Without spending a lot of money on testing, we are left to using more anecdotal tools�checklists with statements that begin, �compared to children his/her own age�.�; benchmark lists which seem unbelievably low and are maybe tailored to low average�or not; etc. Unfortunately, �compared to other children�.� Is a very relative term and many of us just aren�t sure. We have seen people respond to our children with amazement and people who respond with �oh there are lots of children who�.�. Which should we believe? There is research that shows that many gifted children do not, in fact, �do just fine on their own��and there is criticism of parents who try to make up for inadequate differentiation or acceleration in school. It is very no-win. Worse, trying to sort it out often feels like crossing a minefield. Which questions will slap a �pushy parent� label on my head? Which unasked questions will mean that my child can do fourth/fifth grade math as a seven year old�.and still be �working� on fourth and fifth grade math 2-3 years later? I have appreciated the opportunity to come here to share and question and sometimes complain�even as my confidence in my child�s giftedness ebbs and flows.

Yes�except this assumes that all gifted children know how to set an appropriate pace for themselves. I have found both in parenting and in teaching that when kids don�t feel �seen�, they sometimes assume that they are not capable of more and become afraid to move beyond the group.

Well said! This is the story of DD's school experience, and as I've watched this happen, I am shamed by the realization that there are too many times that I employed diplomacy when I really should have just moved into PITA mode.

I wouldn�t call that a bad habit
From my perspective, however, the whole attitude of the teacher�s post is problematic. As a teacher myself, I hope that the parents I work with will never find me to be judgmental of their parenting or of their attempts to advocate for their children. We should be finding ways to partner with the parents of our students�not arrogantly venting about what is �wrong with parents�.

Also well said�this is a significant problem in our area as well, and leads to distrust amongst parents, and between parents and school.