When we were spending more time in tears or unhappiness than enjoyment, we told DC that we would take a break after xx amount of time (usually, like inky and OTGmom, the amount of tuition we committed already). During this time, we still tried and usually there were more tears. But it really helped DC to know that there were lights at the end of the tunnel and so they were a bit more upbeat. After a period of break, sometimes we returned to the activity, sometime we never did. With the concept of "taking a break," DC also know that they have the option to return should they choose.

We have been worrying about what kind of message quitting would send to the children.... Then we thought about our own childhood. From the kids' persepective, what kind of message are we sending if we know they are miserable but don't try to change it?

For us, we try to choose our battles--the essentials (math) they can take their time but cannot quit, the fun (swimming, piano) we let them quit if they are truly miserable. The bottom line is, when they are miserable, we (parents) are miserable too. Not to mention, when they grow up, often they will remember these miserable moments. We have a cousin, who is an accomplished pianist, but hated every minute of it. As soon as she left for college, she rarely ever touch the piano again....

Have a talk with your DD. Maybe the problem isn't the sport itself but the coach? pool? other kids? And if her interest really has changed, as you probably know already.... some of these activities have trial classes for free. Does your city's (or sometimes nearby cities) have Park and Rec department? Many of the courses offered are great as "trial" classes and at much reasonable price. Sometimes, they even provide supplies (balls, instruments) so that you don't have to buy them up front.

Hope this helps...
Mag

Last edited by Mag; 03/01/10 08:00 AM.