Child-led learning doesn't mean that the child is the boss! Just that you don't have to wonder if it's okay to answer his questions or let her read if she wants to.
That's a good way of putting it.
And for the does it matter if your child learns their abcs before age 2 question ... I don't think so. I still see that as pushing somewhat. And only if the child really shows no interest in it but it becomes the focus of the parents. By having things available to them and they gravitate to it, I don't see that as pushing but just exposure. DD found some abc books when she was around 6 months and the books had been out because a friend's toddler had been over and was restless so I pulled them out for him. I never thought lets see if DD can learn her letters ... that would be nuts! But she gravitated to them and asked repeatedly 'what's this?' and 'what's that?'. By nine months she knew all her letters. Basically I'm saying sometimes these kids just shock you and instead of worrying if they are in the right age to know it, you might just need to go with their interests and not worry about it.
I like how you explain the difference between exposure and pushing. I think it's natural for parents of more advanced kids to worry about this because there's the idea that we some how "created" this kid to be this way (I even had a pediatrician tell me when DD was 4 months that she was so advanced because I was at home with her and breastfeeding. Because I was apparently at home with her doing workouts so she could sit up on her own and crawl early
). In some ways yes because the kid had to be exposed to what skill it is but not in the sense that you're necessarily drilling the kid to learn the skill.
