Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion rollercoaster emotions and upsetting comment today

I have seen quite a few posts on here about GT kids and dealing with OE's and perfectionism but today DS7 said something that made me stand up and take notice of how we all have been handling my little guys OE's.

Today we went to a homeschool math games meetup where basically a group of kids bring their favorite math boardgames and they all play whatever they want. He did a great job playing Pay Day with someone and then taught someone how to play River Crossing and then he saw a boy setting up Mouse Trap - which he loves. This particular child was older and autistic and had his own way of playing the game which was very upsetting to DS7 because he is very specific about following the rules and moving the game along. Throughout the game DS7 got upset and came across rude at times because the other child was taking so long or had trouble counting the correct number of spaces and I could tell the child's mother was not too happy with my little guy. He didn't say anything specifically mean he was just a bit too pushy and impatient and he was frustrated. His frustration started to mix with other emotions as the game progressed and I tried to step in a few times to help him from losing his cool. With his emotions at times they seem completely irrational to others....he can be super happy when he is happy or super angry when he is angry and today he was over the top frustrated and then many days he is just the typical kid. He feels really bad when he has upset someone or hurt their feelings after the fact but when he is in the midst of dealing with an emotion or situation he doesn't seem to be able to see how he is acting...if that makes any sense? The other boy had no idea that my son was saying or doing things that might have been considered rude by another child but I was a little upset at DS7 for acting the way he was towards another child.

When we got into the car at the end of the game time I talked to him about what occured and I tried to help him understand how his actions/words might have come across to another child and that I know it can be difficult at times but that he needed to think of other's feelings. He got very upset and made a comment I have never, ever heard come out of his mouth before and it really caught me off guard and really broke my heart...he said he wished he had never been born. I was taken aback and was lost for words. I have no idea where he had heard that phrase before or if he heard it somewhere else or what. I asked him to explain what he was feeling and he said he was tired of not being understood and that he wished things weren't so hard for him and that he felt so different some times. He said he didn't mean to act the way he did, he was just upset with the other boy for not playing the game the right way. I asked him if he knew what that sentence meant and that it made me concerned to hear that he was so unhappy and then of course went on to explain how much I loved him.

I tried to talk to him again about it later and he said he didn't want to talk about it anymore. The rest of the day was just as normal as peach pie and he was happy and bouncing around the rest of the evening. When I spoke to DH about it and told him I was concerned that DS7 would say such a thing, he didn't seemed phased by it at all.....has anyone else had a child say such a comment? How would you handle the situation? I know that things are different for him and I try so darn hard to help him deal with that but many times I feel over my head!