Determine one specific thing that is causing your child the most frustration and brainstorm ways to fix that one specific thing. Then go to the school and try to implement that one specific thing. Don't go broad here! Then step back, take some time, and see how that one change affects everything else.
Go out of the box with this. Example: If doing spelling homework is causing a major amount of stress, then tell his teacher that he will no longer do the spelling homework. He will only take the tests. Your child is not going to fail the third grade because he did not do his spelling homework. Maybe he won't get straight A's or get on the honor roll or some such thing, but what does that really matter at this stage? You have more power over the school than you probably realize.
I wish I had read this advice a few years ago! But I will try to keep it in mind (I should staple it to my head!) for the future. Thanks very much for the post.
