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apart from his classmates or a part of his classmates.
Everyone wants to belong. Being in an environment were one is 'seen' is a social help. I wish a had a magic bottle of DH juice, but the best I have seen is to invite a few of DS's classmates over for a playdate that DH has to be in charge of - perhaps DH could take them someplace - or have DH take a few hours off of work and sit in DS's classroom for 2 hours - I'll bet he would sing a different tune then.
Maybe this is part of the problem. When DH takes DS to Indian Guides or sports or with the neighbor kids it looks like he fits in mostly. He has a good buddy in Indian guides. They have lots of fun. He has an intellectual friend at school who is not sporty. There are a few sporty kids that are smart that he likes and hangs with. At school and home he goes thru time where he plays with the kids alot but then he will take breaks. I think this is due to sensitivity about meaness, roughness and fairness. (He's has some learning to do in kindness areas too.) I think he just FEELS a little outside and it bothers him.
I think the school not challenging him enough hurts his self esteem and causes him stress that interfers some with relationships. Kids like him and are drawn to his ideas.