I still stuggle with this but...
I try to motivate my kids this way. I talk to them away from the moment of resistance. Then ask if they could help me out with doing X. I keep the converstion short and with out judgement. Mention a benefit of doing X. EX. if he follows the morning routinue we can get to school on time and have a more pleasant morning. I also ask if something is getting in the way of what needs to be done? If I give my kids choices for what needs to be done that helps. Ex. Do you want to make your bed before or after breakfast. I also remind the kids it feels better to boss yourself rather than someone following him around to do the right thing.
I also try to avoid the power struggles. Sometimes I just walk away and say I know you will do the right thing.
