Some ideas:
http://www.thinkingpreteen.com/icps.htm
There are books availible if you think she needs more vocabulary, or you need more of a framework to ask good questions instead of giving advice.

or
energyparenting.com
If you think that she is getting a bit of a 'kick' from all the drama of falling apart emotionally.

Both of these ideas are availible in book form, but I started you with links, because it's hard to keep buying books if they aren't adressing the kinds of problems you kids is having.

Best Wishes,
Grinity


Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com