Welcome Tofu!
Reading your post I have to ask about your older child. You mentioned some problems that led to homeschooling and I have to wonder if the problems are tied to him being gifted as well. It isn't absolute but there is evidence suggesting that siblings IQs are usually about 10 pts apart. You might not have picked up on your older sons traits like your younger one since the younger son is clearly showing his abilities. Some gifted children have other issues which is classified as 2E (Twice Exceptional) and your older son might very well be one of those kids. Again ... I don't know what you have experienced but it is definitely worth considering, because a lot of gifted kids are misdiagnosed with ADHD when they really have something under SI. (just an example)
