Also, my parents are very involved, and they and the nanny have always given him undivided attention. I just thought he never learned to be alone, and maybe that's true. But, we've been working on that for a long time, and he still struggles with it. Maybe he is feeling anxiety; is it enough to just continue to work on doing things for himself? If I get a phone call, he finds something to have a meltdown over. If I'm in the shower, same thing. Even in the car, he freaks out if I just want to listen to music and not play a game with him. He is even reluctant to make a decision for himself (perfectionism), yet he has an opinion on anything and will argue that the sky is really green until he's blue in the face. I'm exhausted trying to keep him occupied.
DS used to be the same way when I was on the phone. He would also get upset when DH and I shared a hug that excluded him. I explained to him that, just like he has lots of people he loves besides me, I have lots of people I love besides him, and giving a few minutes of my time and attention to someone else I love doesn't mean I stop loving him while I'm doing it - just like he doesn't stop loving me when he spends the night at Grandma's. I also said that, just like he sometimes spends time just with Daddy and sometimes just with me, Daddy and I sometimes need to spend time just with each other. It took a few reminders after that, but he really shaped up quickly and now shows much greater respect for other relationships and confidence in his own.
