I use the term "gifted" with DS8 because he's mature enough to get that it's not something to discuss/brag about publicly, anymore than it would be sensible to brag about his eye color. Giftedness is part of him, and it explains much about how he thinks, feels, and generally approaches life, so I don't feel good about keeping it from him.
Not to mention the fact that I have books about giftedness on the bookshelf. He can read! He asked about it. It's part of life around here!
But--and this is a big caveat!--we talk much about the fact that what matters about a person is the choices he/she makes, not what one was born with. A hard worker who isn't gifted often does better in life than a gifted person who coasts. He gets that.
My mom's great saying, "It's nice to be smart, but it's smart to be nice" gets used a lot. And we praise effort rather than results. The other mantra we use a lot is "Hard is good," which also stresses that coasting on natural ability isn't the thing to do.
I think the "other kids like you" is a great approach if your child isn't mature enough (or happy enough--DS8 only ever bragged when he had a poor school fit, and that was before he was a DYS kid) to understand that bragging about giftedness/being smart is off-putting to others.
Just be prepared with an answer to the natural question, "What do you mean 'like me?' Like me in what way?"
