Wow, djf. I went to Exeter years before you went to Andover and kids were kicked out every week for the type of stuff you mention in your post.

For dys parents, I'd suggest asking your family consultant for names of other dys currently at these schools so that you can get a more recent opinion of what the schools are like for their kids. For families not in DYS, I'd suggest asking the schools for names of local parents you could talk to and the kids can speak to each other, too.