Nautigal, so sorry to hear your ds is having social problems!
We have forever been getting comments from friends and family members about ds9's sometimes odd behavior, but as a parent, I just couldn't really 'see' much wrong with how he was behaving. Until 1st grade, when he himself started to ask questions about why he wasn't making friends. At all.
I still don't claim to understand it all, but we did seek out an assessment from a neuropsychologist who was able to determine that, while ds is gifted, he has a couple of issues - some kind of delay in learning/using/knowing when to employ 'rules of good social behavior', and a processing speed issue that stands out on timed tests (another thread altogether!)
Anyway, he recommended a social skills training class, and noted that ds was in fact pretty depressed about his social situation. 6 months later, we have completed a parents/boys course in social skills, ds seems to be making more and more friends and really getting along MUCH better. I believe his actual downfall was in not knowing that the social skills mattered, so why bother? Ack.
He is not what I would call extremely polished, but he gets the job done most of the time, knowing now it is important to not just talk about your own interests, but to let others get a word in edgewise, even encourage them to talk by asking them questions...
He is much much happier.
So, all that to say, in some ways the diagnosis doesn't matter. No one ever said 'Asperger's' to us officially, but the therapy ds received was designed with Asperger's kids in mind.
Something the doctor said about ds' ability to tell he wasn't getting along helped us to understand he was unlikely to actually have the full on syndrome, but still definitely needed the help.
Hugs!! I know this is a hard question to contend with!
ps, one other piece of the puzzle for ds has been the gt group at school, where he's met many kids he enjoys enough to want to win them over.
Last edited by chris1234; 10/07/09 12:37 AM.
