As far as not doing it.... it's all the social and emotional aspects. She's very easily frustrated. For example, the 1st grade teacher sent home a packet of things the students have been doing, to give me an idea of what is going on.
Hi JaimeIM! Welcome! So glad you are getting a chance to think through this with BTDT Parents - what a relief!
Basically, you do want your daughter in a challenging academic situation BECAUSE she doesn't handle frustration well. Sitting for hours in school where noting is ever the teensiest challenge is part of what makes kids so bad at handling challenge. And as for her 'big response' - that aspect of the personality is so common in gifted kids that we had to come up with our on phrase and around here we joke about 'rampant emotionalism' (Kid's, Our's, and Dear Partner's as well)
Here are some reasons not to accelerate:
1) There is a school that has a reasonable amount of kids her age who are near her in ability level. (Everyone would prefer this!)
2) Merit Scholarships are her ONLY ticket to college.
3) Athletic Competition is her passion
4) She hates older kids
5) She would be targeted by the other kids and STILL not be learning anything (my guess is that your DD is going to need subject accelerations or partial homeschooling in addition to her skip, not right away, but when she is ready.)
6) Academic Competitions are a strong possibility (National level Spelling Bee, Intel, etc.)
7) Kindy is half day and fun based, this is especially important for wiggly, non-rule following kids, and it doesn't mean never skip, just wait and skip 1st grade.
I would say that before you agree to anything, you must take a half day and spend time sitting in your DD's kindy classroom, and spend time sitting in her proposed new 1st grade classroom, and, if possible, a second grade classroom, just to see how the kids interact, what the teachers are like, and what level of work they are doing compared to where your daughter is at. This is much more important than any standardized test.
As for the friend issues, my son was denied a skip until 5th, and leaving friends at that age was really wrenching, so if you come to believe that a skip will be needed, then the sooner the better.
The last issue to consider is gender. With boys, and a few girls, they will complain about boredom and force your hand.
With most girls you have to be brave and take a pleasant, complying child and put them into a 'at least somewhat' challenging academic situation. I don't know if it is biology or culture, but at this moment in time, girls tend to 'make the best of things' to a point way beyond what is safe. Kids rely on us to know what is right for them and to do it, so if you don't skip her, you are sending her a powerful message about your values, that she will likely internalize.
Um, I guess I've made my opinion pretty clear, yes? There are reasons not to skip, but social/emotional just isn't one of them!
Smiles,
Grinity
