I feel like a driven Mom who's child has a disease she is trying to understand, looking for the cure. Luckly I only have my current situation. That should keep it in perspective but I feel obsessed. I loved my kids and want the best for them.
Yes, it is lucky that your son doesn't have a disease, but in many ways you are correct. His school is endangering him. Lack of opportunity to learn how to learn at this age can lead directly to situtions where real door close in the real future. You aren catasprphizing - you son is in danger, and the 'professional' keep being smug AND wrong. Bright people, when faced with situations that aren't 'ringing true' do rev into 'obsession mode' and a bright mom who feels that her son is in danger, and keeps being told - it's ok, is definitly wise to be in 'obsession mode.'
I'm thinking of Abraham with all those ex-egyptian slaves in the desert. That all had to radically change their perspecitives, and fast, in order to survive. And still it took a whole generation. You have considerably less time. My son was in your son's shoes in 2nd grade. He had a wonderful teacher for 3rd grade, but the problems were right back there in 4th grade. So I know all about skips that are later occuring. Not Pretty. It is totally possible to reverse your son's underachievement, but it won't be pretty.
ps. I don't think your a nag. I can take or leave anyone's advice. I appreciate it all. And sometimes I need to hear advice/ideas a few times before I can take it on. Please just be you.
That's good to hear. My BFF from far away came to visit when my son was in 1st grade with a behavior chart. She told me what I'm telling you, and I dismissed her. I said: 'Oh no, I asked the teacher and she assured me that he was bright, but nothing unusual.' I believed the teacher, not my BFF who had BTDT. It can't be changed, but perhaps I can help you?
