I have gone through this pain a hundred times over. My older son does have an Aspeger's diagnosis, but I railed against it until I was positive that at least several pieces fit. For instance, he does look you in the eyes, but he also has this need for auditory stimulation, sometimes repeating the same song to himself over and over. He's 8 and still can't handle frustration very well. He closes up and sometimes tantrums (though less often now). But, he is also highly gifted, interested in lots of things, fairly social, etc.
It's hard. We didn't really see it until he transitioned into a new school and the transition threw him out of whack completely. Suddenly all these subtle little signs that I wasn't paying attention to became full-blown AS type reactions. He is back to baseline now, but now that we've seen how he handles transitions, a lot of other things begin to make sense.
Anyway, you know your child best. And the AS/Gifted diagnosis is a very hard one to make. I hope you manage to talk to the advocate and get the support you need from her.
