You might also consider homeschooling. It's not necessary for every child, but if your DS really does start to shut down and if the school refuses to serve his needs, it can be a good solution.
Just so you know that I'm not one to push people on this, we are "emergency homeschoolers," as are a number of people on the forum. He had a bad 1st grade experience, and homeschooling turned out to be a lot better for him. But DS5 is starting public school kindergarten in the fall. I'm hoping it will work for DS5 even though it didn't work for his older brother, since he's a different kid and has different needs.
To me, deciding to take the leap was about considering my strengths (teaching) and weaknesses (advocacy) and weighing those against the fight I was going to have on my hands with a school system highly resistant to grade skips and even subject acceleration. Then when I factored in DS8's personality and desperate frustration--even anger--while he was in a bad school situation, homeschooling was the clear right answer for us. <shrug>
If nothing else, knowing that you can homeschool (even if you choose not to) can make you feel less desperate, less at the mercy of the people who just aren't getting it. FWIW, I'd recommend looking into all options--the more you know, the better prepared you are to find a path that works for your child, whatever that path might be.
If you have questions about homeschooling, feel free to ask. A lot of people have misconceptions about it and this is a safe place to consider alternatives. But if you're not interested, I won't bug you about it further.
Wishing you good luck on this journey!
