Anna,
You know your DS better than anyone and chances are he isn't on the spectrum but I just want to clarify your last statement ... a child is not either gifted OR autistic. There are gifted children that are on the spectrum. Just as there are gifted children with learning disorders. It is called 2E (twice exceptional). Society in general doesn't put that together and take for granted that gifted kids are 'ahead of the game'. It is ammo for why they are not taught in school.
And again ... by the post of your DS there really isn't enough there to jump to any conclusions it is just a possibility for why you see differences as described. And if it is a concern for any parent with a toddler there is a screening test called the M-Chat that guides you through what to look for. I would post the link but it is ridiculously long so the best thing to do is google it as m-chat screen and mass.gov has a good site that you can download the test and the score sheet.
I do caution anyone that does look into the screening that it is not an absolute for anything, b/c a lot of what is looked for on the spectrum can simply be part of the toddler stage.
