Hi,
I'm fairly new to these forums, and I was hoping that someone here has BTDT and can provide some advice.
Some background: My DS5 is in Pre-K. At the first parent-teacher conference in November, we were told of certain behavior problems. We suspected that many of the behaviors were because he was "gifted", and although we never had him tested, we thought he was probably bored. Fast forward to February, we had our son tested and confirmed our long-thought suspicions that our son is in fact gifted. The psychologist agreed with us that many of his behaviors were probably because he was bored. The psychologist came up with several ideas to try to challenge him, to get him to the end of the school year. We met with the teacher, principal, and school counselor last week to share the ideas, and they were receptive.
The problem is DS often refuses to follow directions. There are certain times where he really digs his heels in and is quite defiant. He will tell the teacher he doesn't want to do something, he doesn't find the topic interesting, doesn't like the rules. He tells me he can do what the teacher asks, but he just doesn't want to. And nothing seems to phase him.
DH and I know that this is not the optimal environment for him, but we're hoping that if the teacher follows through on some of the psychologist's ideas things will improve. However, the total lack of respect for authority is a problem. We will be advocating for a grade-skip at a new school next year (at the psychologist's recommendation), but his current behavior will certainly work against him if it continues in the new school. We know he's in a difficult situation, but still, at some point, he does need to learn to follow directions, even if he doesn't necessarily agree with them. No? I know he's only 5, but if he is being this defiant to authority figures now, I shudder to think of what lies ahead.
This is really killing me and DH. DS can be such a wonderful child, yet he is so strong-willed. Always has been. We have tried time-outs, behavior charts and earning rewards (which worked for a while), taking away privileges, and at this point nothing seems to be working.
I'm sorry that this post is so long. Since I've read that being strong-willed can be common in gifted children, I'm hoping that someone out there has BTDT and can provide any suggestions. My husband and I are at a loss at this point. And I'm just beating myself up and questioning my parenting skills too.
Thanks so much for listening.
