Lisa-
That was very moving. It's so obvious that you care deeply and have worked hard to meet DD's needs all along. The flying story was a heart breaker.
Sounds to me like she's learned more out of school than in school. Maybe homeschooling with some freedom (unschoolish, but not completely without objectives) would be a good choice for her for high school.
I have to say, I have more concerns on the social front than on the academic side. Does she have a close friend or two? Are there still times when she acts inappropriately in public? By 13, most kids have learned to behave in a manner that will not get them sent to the principal's office.
best wishes,
