I finally put my foot down around 3 1/2 and told my son I wouldn't do anything for him unless he turns his commands into questions. Whenever he starts in with "I want X" or "Give me X," I make him turn it into "Could you please..." or "Would you please...?" After many months of this, it's finally becoming more automatic for him, and it's amazing how much this one little change in phrasing has changed the power dynamic in our house, for the better.
We do the same... and also request that they stop crying or whining first, etc.
But yes, DD3, who I guess is not really a toddler anymore, is very bossy... guess she did get something from moi. hehe.
