I was like that. DH wanted to accelerate DS6 when he was in preschool and I thought he was crazy. I am now on board and have accepted DS's intellectual differences. On the other hand, DH thought public school would be fine. He now accepts DS6's emotional differences. He is now on board. It's been quite a journey for us thus far!
One thing that you could do is have your partner work with your child, academically. You could have her do some workbooks for her own age group. When she sees how your child responds, doesn't pay attention, gets an attitude or whatever it is that he does, it might be easier to connect the dots to how doing age-level work would play out in the classroom. Just a thought.
