We just did this with my daughter. She also has dysgraphia and a 30+ point deviation in written expression.
My first advice is to call your local ARC office and ask about an advocate to help with the process. They are nationwide and the service was free in our case. That was an immense help.
Second, does your state recognize GT? We are in Michigan and in our state gifted programming isn't mandated. That will make a big difference in where you go from here. We discussed the same points of IDEA 2004 that you are mentioning just so you know that you aren't alone in that regard.
The other questions, have you checked that there are qualifications for testing? In our state the child must be tested if a written request is made by the parent or other interested party. The school will tell you there is no need to test in some cases but it is still their obligation to test. I know this varies by state. Is your state accepting the outside eval? I know that that isn't the case in our state, I assume they are if you have the IEP meeting. Our state will look at it but won't accept it for eligibility.
