We use a "do over". I got the idea from ground hog day. If something goes wrong, gets escalated all out of proportion, we start over. Completely forget about the first time and take it from the top.

In the beginning I used to tell my son we were going to have a do over and we'd do just that. Now, when he gets to where he knows that his actions aren't really dictated by what happen but rather are all out of proportion, he'll ask me if he can have a "do over". It has worked really well for us.

Shari
Mom to DS 10, DS 11, DS 13
Ability doesn't make us, Choices do!