Thanks everyone.
Dottie, the Pittsburgh move is possible, esp. since DH is now unemployed and job-hunting (another reason we're not SOO disappointed DS didn't get into that one private school and we're not holding our breath for the other one -- both have tuition of approx. $27K per year) DH wants to stay driving distance from parents in upstate NY.
Kriston, I've e-mailed back and forth with a couple of DYS parents re NYC schools -- both with kids enrolled in private -- and they were very helpful in providing their perspective. Our family consultant has set out different ways she could help, once we figure out what we want.
I'm actually starting to think that staying with the current school, even without accommodations, for one more year before the middle school switch may be the best bet. (And you know that's all my DHIGD (dh in gifted denial) thinks we should do.)
The local district G&T class for DS's grade is no more advanced than his current classroom, and overall the school doesn't have all the extras his current school does, like great PTA-funded science trips, artists/architects/authors in residence, dance, etc.
The three "citywide"(more selective) public elementary schools he didn't get into last year are all at least 40 minutes one-way by subway, with no school bus service from our borough. The parent dropping off would then have to return to work or home, so that DS would spend 80-150 minutes EACH day on the train and the parent would have to spend even more time on the train. The one just 40 minutes away has a reputation of not accommodating ANY type of 2E issue. The supposed best of the three uses the same horrible math curriculum (1-2 years ahead) and the same handwriting-heavy Writer's Workshop model, and it's an hour away.
Perhaps it would be better to spend 45 minutes bored in math class at the local elementary, and 30 minutes at home each night doing Singapore Math at a truly individualized pace rather than commuting for at least 75 minutes a day to a faster-paced school, where he knows no one, that still doesn't accommodate perfectly.
The middle school application process is already finished for this year. Most parents barely feel up to the process when it doesn't also include a grade-skip!
At any rate, we've got a lot to think through and we are in limbo about more than just school at this point.
Thanks, everyone! I feel so lucky to benefit from the board's experience and advice!
bk
