((hugs))Skyward!
It's a shame that the library trip was ruined. If she didn't get the point this time, I would consider one of those baby leashs for next time. Just the threat of that might communicate how serious you are. The other approach is to only allow a very short visit (10 minutes)to the library next time, perhaps to pick out one book per kid. The reward for sticking to your side is a longer visit next time.(15 minutes -2 books!) Try and remember that just packing up the car and getting the kids in is a major adventure at this point, and the destinations aren't the main point.
We also have a family whistle, and were all trained and rewarded for 'finding mom' within a slow count of 5 when were heard it. If dogs can learn to do this, then a child who is practicing for the day when she will have earned the privilage of going off on her own, can definitly do this. Perhaps this is a wake up call that she is 'ready' to learn to spend some short periods of time exploring on her own.
Also - when we used to go to the library, I would check out the books AS they were selected, so that we could litterally leave at a moments notice with the books. The idea beinging that a swift consequence is more memorable than one that occurs 'later.'
DS12, at 4 couldn't entertain himself for 4 minutes. And I didn't have a baby or middle child around either! Unless the TV was on. I would consider getting some 'Science DVDs' and letting her watch during your naptime.
I would take a look at what kinds of physical exertion you can set up as part of the day 'before' trips into public spaces. I like the book 'Parents, Children, and Power Struggles.' It's so hard to know if you are being 'too hard' or 'too easy' on these little ones who talk so logically, but act their age.
Perhaps you can figure out some 'loud and active' group activities that you can use to pace your day. I'm thinking vacuming for some reason. Maybe Flylady.net and the Housefairy might help?
((humor alert)) Whoes OE's are you talking about? Her 'overMotor' or your 'overSensory?'
Anything you can do to nurture yourself right now - do it! Check the locals for a homeschooling 13 year old who can come over and run them around a few times a week, yes? A high schooler who needs community service hours? A surrogate grandmother?
Here's a little story.
When DS was about 3, DH and I still wanted to take him to resturants. Keeping him entertained was a big deal. So I asked my more experienced SIL: 'Is it ok to let him play with the butter knife if it keeps him quiet at a resturant?'
Her Answer: 'If it keeps them quiet at a resturant, I'd let my kids play with a chainsaw!'
I can't even type these words without getting tears of laughter! And that was 10 years ago!
Anyway it sounds like on most days your DD behaves remarkably well. Sorry this one was hard.
Smiles,
Grinty
