Hi Bookworm,
Welcome. I'm so glad that you found us.
Did you share with the teacher that DD is crying in the morning?
Can you homeschool her, or let her go back to the preschool?
I'm glad you are aware of your daughers compliant demeanor. In my view it means that you have to be doubly vigilent. Ask yourself, if the teacher reported that she was throwing desks and biting other children, what level of action would I take, and when would I take it. Whatever your answer is, is my suggestion for the speed and seriousness with which you treat this.
Here's my take on testing. Testing is a wonderful way to get a perspective on your child, and to see if they can be expected to thrive long term with one or more grade skips. Testing is for you (and whoever else is on the parental team) to better "know" your child, and to hopefully get guidance as to what to do about your child's special needs.
Schools hate IQ and achievement tests. This is an oversimplification, but in general, a portfolio showing the child's skills and abilities is much more convincing than any IQ test.
Remember, that any communication with the school must be in writing - not verbal, not email. You are ahead of the game, in that you have already established a relationship with the Principle and the Teacher.
This is my guess as your best shot at getting her into 1st grade asap, which I am assuming is your goal. Look at the situation from the schools perspective. What are their issues? They want her to be happy and fit in.
First things first. If you are going back to the Principle, you now need the support of the teacher, or at least to let her know your plan. I would schedual a meeting, let her know that your daughter is crying in the morning and feels like a freak. You cry too, and let teacher know that you don't want your daughter growing up feeling like a freak - you want your daughter in first grade where she can feel normal and make friends. Key words are "cry" and "feel normal." You don't have to mention how smart she is - not an issue from the school's perspective since their mission is to fill identical empty vessels.
Then say, "I'd like your support to approach the Principal for a 6 week trial 1st grade placement. I believe my daughter will be much happier there." Teacher says yes or no. Meeting over.
Then you set up the meeting with the Principle, tears again if the date is more than 3 days away. If you aren't upset, or are willing to wait, then you must not really think there is a problem. As long as you are crying, no one will call you pushy.
I'm not suggesting that you fake tears - I'm suggesting that you openly show your feelings. At the meeting with the Principal, you repeat the "Crying child who feels like a freak, 6 week trial in 1st" pitch, and hand deliver a written version of your pitch.
Keep your verbal utterances very narrow. 30 words, repeated over and over is more effective than a rant. Crying shows emotional importance, ranting confuses people and makes them hate you. Be like a commercial for your program.
Your next step is researching alternate school situations, independent and homeschooling. Find out what are the legal requirements for homeschooling. It's usually very effective to keep your child out of school until the school is ready to give your plan a try, but in some states this will lead to the department of child protective services to land on your door - so get the facts and find out what type of state you are living in. You can call her in sick every day until they talk to you and agree to your plan.
Remember, even if I am correct, and you do everything right, they don't have to do what you percieve as the right thing. You have several things in your favor.
1) Your daughter is female, therefore less likely to be dateless due to being younger.
2) Your daughter is female, and often females will have good organizational skills, good enough to handle the demands of a higher grade.
3) Your daughter is female, so less likely to have handwriting difficulties that make her stand out amoung older children.
4) Your daughter is female, and the perception still exists that there are honorable ways for females to be popular even if they are not stars on the sports field. Being younger is going to be somewhat of a disadvantage in sports, for some children, although it doesn't turn out to be a big deal for many.
5) Your daughter is well behaved, and unlikely to make waves in any environment.
I'm the Mom of a son. The public school made the inverse argument of every one of the above. I would at least like you to be able to waltz in and get your grade skip. If not, you may have to do as we did and try the independent school route. You know, there is some truth to every one of the above arguments in our individual case. But all those potential problems didn't hold a candle to the path we were on.
Even though I'm female, I didn't have any of the traditional female skills -((pout))-except the first one - LOL! My spelling and handwriting are about the same level. I was early enteranced to K, and although that was a good start, it was no where near enough. Too bad for me, that was all there was. I can not imagine life without that early start. As you can see, I have a mind that can imagine being as agressive and confident as men are trained to be, so perhaps I didn't get a bad trade-off for poor spelling and ugly handwriting.
If you don't want a gradeskip, and think that you can make the teacher accomdidate your child, that's a whole different path to pursue - that's were the private testing, Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual, Genius Denied, etc come it. Wherever you are on your path is just right.
Love and More Love,
Trinity
