ELH: I'm feeling like this might be a case of your needing to be the parent here, regardless of what your son says that he wants. There are clear indications that he's having some pretty serious problems, and I'm not sure that his desire to stay with his friends is enough to override those problems. I don't know what the solution is--grade skip, homeschooling, any of Grinity's suggestions, etc.--but I think something more must be done.
What if you make arrangements for playdates (or whatever they call them at age 9...) with the school friends on a very regular basis? He might actually wind up getting more time to play with them, even if he doesn't spend time in school with them.
I would say something has to be done, though, IMHO.
